


The Art of Holding Hands

by skyekingsleigh



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Christmas Eve, Christmas Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Holding Hands, M/M, New Year's Eve, New York City
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-07-13 01:50:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16007774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skyekingsleigh/pseuds/skyekingsleigh
Summary: They weren’t even official! They were friends at most. They haven’t even kissed, just held hands and that wouldn’t even have happened if Jesse hadn’t made up some shit about not wanting to lose Blaine in a huge crowd.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this can be considered as a prequel from my bless series, Domestics, but can also be a standalone :))

**_part one_ **

 

They weren’t dating. No. No way in hell. Jesse doesn’t do dates, alright? He does flirting and one-night stands and flings but he doesn’t date. Not in a very long time, anyway. He had more things to worry about now, too much on his plate really, to think about some other person who most probably would just like to hang out with him because he’s big on Broadway. 

You see, Jesse St. James has a rule: if the girl–or guy, he doesn’t mind–is an aspiring singer, actor, director, just…anything that has to do with theatre, it’s a no go. These types just want him for one thing ninety-nine percent of the time and surprisingly it’s not his good looks and even better vocal abilities. They want him for his connections. As if he’d ever recommend a one-time lay who probably isn’t that good enough for Broadway anyway if they have to sleep around to land roles. Too harsh? Maybe, but it’s the truth. So really, this isn’t a date. Jesse and Blaine just figured it’d be more convenient, really, to shop on Black Friday together because…just because.

And just because they keep glancing at each other with stupid smiles on their red faces doesn’t mean Jesse _like_ likes him in _that_ way. No. Nuh uh. The truth is he finds Blaine annoying most of the time, with his goody-goody laugh and puppy eyes and cherry lips and his stupid bow ties and gelled hair. Honestly, who uses that much hair gel? That can’t be healthy. 

“You’re unusually quiet.” Blaine breaks the silence with a small smile, bumping his shoulders playfully. 

Jesse gave him a confused look, scrunching his eyebrows. “What do you mean by unusually?”

“I’m just saying,” he started. “Three people have tried to approach you for a picture or an autograph and you didn’t so much as bat an eye at them. Usually you’d be bragging the whole night.”

He made an ‘o’ with his lips, nodding along. “You’re right. Guess I’m not in the mood for that tonight.”

“Who are you kidding? You’re always in the mood for an ego boost.”

Jesse only smiled in response, gesturing to a crowded corner. “Let’s look there.”

“Are you serious?” Blaine laughs in disbelief. “It looks like half of New York City is in there. There’s no way we’d be able to keep track of each othe—“

He was cut off by Jesse taking a firm hold of his hand, making Blaine’s jaw drop. “Wha...”

Jesse squeezed his hand, biting his lip to keep from grinning too widely, and shrugged. “This way I won’t lose you.”

“Oh,” Blaine blushed, thanking all the Gods out there that his hands decided to be on his side and not sweat like crazy that night. “That makes sense, I guess.”


	2. Chapter 2

**_part two_ **

 

It was the first Christmas that Blaine wasn’t spending back home in Ohio. Well, no, that was a lie. He did spend Christmas two years ago in New York with Kurt and Burt but since he was with people he considered family, it didn’t really count. Last year, he and Kurt went home and had their families together for the occasion. Wedding talk ensued throughout the night and their dreams of spending their life together seemed so near, so within their reach, but of course everyone knew how that went. 

This year, he eliminated all plans of going home. Home is where he proposed to Kurt. Home is where he almost went when he was planning on dropping out of college. Home is where all the painful memories lie. So he convinced his brother to buy his parents tickets to who knows where for a vacation and he bought a mini Christmas tree about a foot in height and placed it on his nightstand. Yes, he was spending Christmas in his dorm all alone, and yes he was going to enjoy every second of it. 

That was the unflawed plan until about 9 pm on Christmas Eve. 

_To: Blaine_  
From: Jesse   
**A little birdie told me you’re in New York alone on Christmas. That’s just depressing.**

_To: Jesse_  
From: Blaine   
**I didn’t know Rachel changed her name to little birdie, but I guess she’s right.**

_To: Blaine_  
From: Jesse   
**Stop being a loner and come to Rockefeller at 11. I’ll dedicate a song to you.**

So that was that then. 

It turns out that the whole cast of the musical Jesse was leading had been invited to perform for Christmas Eve. There was a huge crowd, and it was freezing cold, but Blaine found a great spot to the right of the stage. He bought hot chocolate served in a paper cup from a vendor and sat down at a bench, slightly damp from the snow. He watched with an absentminded smile as Jesse began to sing, starting with songs from his musical to classic holiday tunes. He was halfway through his cup when Jesse spotted him. 

“I have a friend who almost spent Christmas Eve alone until I promised to dedicate a song to him and convinced him to come here. So Blaine, this is for you.”

It didn’t take Blaine too long to realize what the song was. He was pretty sure they sang this particular song one time in glee club but really, what song haven’t they done at this point? 

_Have yourself a merry little Christmas_

And seriously, he wasn’t blushing just because Jesse was continually pointing and winking at him throughout the performance. It was just cold outside, all right? 

They sang three more songs and by the time they wrapped it up it was almost 11:30. Jesse introduced the next act, some teenage rising pop singer that Blaine didn’t know, and then he was seeing Jesse walking towards him with a lazy smirk on his face. 

“Mr. Anderson,” he greeted slyly, cocking his head to the side. “What brings you here on Christmas eve?”

Blaine rolled his eyes at his antics but smiled nonetheless and stood up, dusting off his pants in the process. “My annoying friend made me. I would’ve been on the second Home Alone movie by now if he hadn’t.”

“Right,” Jesse scoffed before gesturing to the front. “Let’s make the most of this night, then. I have this tradition to go see the Rockefeller Christmas Tree every Christmas at exactly midnight. Having you around won’t change that.”

“Okay?”

“If you’re alone this time next year, maybe you can be a part of the tradition. Who knows?”

Blaine raised his eyebrows with a smile, keeping in step with Jesse who already started to walk. “Will there be a lot of people?”

“Probably,” Jesse paused as if contemplating something before taking ahold of Blaine’s hand. “Here. You’re so small I’d probably lose sight of you.”

Blaine couldn’t really feel anything given as his hands were numb and covered in gloves but he still fought hard not to blush. And when they got to the tree and he noticed that there weren’t that many people—not much that they couldn’t keep sight of each other, anyway—and Jesse still didn’t let go of his hand, Blaine didn’t say anything.


	3. Chapter 3

**_Part three_ **

 

Jesse was used to celebrating the Holidays alone. He never really liked going back home to Ohio if it weren’t for emergency purposes, especially after all that Rachel fiasco and having her choose that lanky, weirdly tall dude that wasn’t even that great of a singer over him. So when he quit his job in coaching Vocal Adrenaline, he went straight to the greatest city in the world. New York. And then he began to work his butt off.

Although he was pretty self-confident, Jesse wasn’t naive. He knew that no matter how talented he was, there’s bound to be more talent in New York City. So he got a job waiting tables while going from audition to audition. It took him five months to land an ensemble role (which was pretty fast considering his odds) and almost a year and a half after that to land a lead role. And when he did, it was amazing. It was everything he had ever imagined. The rush every night for different kinds of audience, the people he got to meet, the songs he got to sing, and the respect he earned. It was exhilarating and addicting. Of course the thought of coming back home just to shove his success in the faces of all the people who ever doubted him came to mind but he decided that that was just too petty and too high school for his liking. 

So every year, he sends gift cards and presents to his parents and siblings back home, sometimes giving them plane tickets to go to New York to watch his show. Jesse learned that being alone wasn’t necessarily a bad thing when you get used to it. He doesn’t have to be worried about anyone else other than himself, he gets to go out and do whatever he wants and all that jazz. So why exactly was he waiting at his apartment, on New Years’ Eve of all days, for Blaine to text?

Fine. He knew that after Christmas, Blaine was still planning to head home to see his family and won’t be back till the second week of January. So Jesse wasn’t sure why he was still hoping that somehow the guy changed his mind and stayed instead. Plus, Lima is a bad idea. It’s just…it’s filled with memories and people and Kurt and Jesse wasn’t sure how he’s going to react if the two got back together. Not that he likes Blaine, of course. He’s just concerned for his…friend. 

“Damn it,” he mutters before dialing Blaine’s number. And since when did he memorize Blaine’s number? Fuck. The phone rang for about six times before he picked up.

“Jesse? What’s up?”

The twenty-three year old man stood up abruptly, clutching his hair and cringing. What was he supposed to say? I miss you, when are you coming back? Did you get back together with your ex fiancé and had amazing make up sex? “Uh, hey. How’s Lima?”

Goddammit. How’s Lima? Where the fuck did that come from? “It’s fine. Not as cold as New York, thankfully.”

“That’s…nice.”

“Actually, the whole New Directions gang met up and we had dinner at Breadstix. It was awesome seeing everyone and exchange stories with everyone, you know? And nobody said anything negative when Rachel asked me about you so that’s great, right?”

Jesse hummed, suddenly intrigued. “Rachel asked about me?”

“Yeah,” his tone changed, going from cheery to…something else entirely. “Why? Does it matter?”

Ignoring his question, Jesse jumped back on his bed, staring at the ceiling. “What about Kurt? Did you see him?”

“Yes, actually.” Blaine responded before going silent. He didn’t say anything for a few seconds and Jesse had to shut his eyes in dreaded anticipation. “He asked me to uh, meet up before dinner. So we had lunch and we talked.”

“Uh huh…”

“You know, it’s weird ‘cause I feel like I should tell you even if it’s not really any of your business?” He says. “But uh, yeah.”

Jesse breathed in deeply, already knowing where the conversation was going to go. “Tell me. It’s cool. We’re friends, right?”

“Kurt told me that he regrets breaking up with me,” Blaine started, making Jesse grip the sheets underneath him harshly. “And then he kissed me.”

Jesse felt like he couldn’t breathe, and it was fucking torture. His chest feels heavy and he’s pretty sure Blaine can hear every huff of breath he forces out of his lungs, but at that point he really couldn’t care any less. This wasn’t supposed to happen, goddammit. Fine, he _likes_ Blaine. There, he admits it. But no matter how handsome and successful and amazing he claims to be, how the fuck can he compare to Blaine’s ex fucking _fiancé?_ That’s just…there’s no competition. He lost before he even got to play, and it _hurts._ Fuck, why does it hurt? They weren’t even official! They were friends at most. They haven’t even kissed, just held hands and that wouldn’t even have happened if Jesse hadn’t made up some shit about not wanting to lose Blaine in a huge crowd.

“I have to go,” he suddenly says, and he heard Blaine’s breathing hitch. 

“Jesse–“

“I completely lost track of time,” he continued to reason. “I have a date with this amazing girl. We’re going to a Broadway themed party, so…”

“Oh,” Blaine says, caught off guard. “I…uh, that’s…yeah, that’s great.”

“Yeah.”

“Have fun.”

“I will.”

And then Blaine hung up. 

And the thing is there is no date, goddammit. There’s just Jesse all alone in his bed trying to get the heaviness in his chest to disappear because it doesn’t feel very nice, okay? It hurts. And he’s never felt this hurt by anyone before. Not even when Rachel chose Finn over him. This wasn’t a matter of a shattered ego. This was about his fucking heart, and it fucking hurts.


	4. Chapter 4

**_Part four_ **

 

“I think you’ve lost your mind,” Rachel comments, gripping the steering wheel with that same-old knowing look on her face. “I mean, I forgave Jesse a long time ago but I still think you’re nuts.”

Blaine sighed exasperatedly, throwing his head back to the headrest of the passenger seat. “Rachel, we held hands while staring at the Rockefeller Christmas tree. Tell me that’s something Jesse St. James usually does.”

“Well,” she paused with a frown. “You do have a point, there. But flying to New York on New Year’s Eve? Are you serious?”

He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “I know it sounds crazy, but the man I like–who, by the way, could potentially like me back–thinks I got back together with my ex fiancé and is about to go on a hot date with a hot girl and I refuse to lose him, alright? I haven’t felt this way since…since…”

“Since Kurt?” Rachel supplied softly, giving him a sympathetic look. 

Blaine swallowed, biting on his lower lip. “Honestly? Since…ever.”

They were both quiet as Rachel pulled into the airport, Blaine left to his thoughts. Did he really like Jesse that much? Yes. It was different with Kurt. With Kurt, Blaine was confident and sure of himself and he made all the right moves. With Jesse, he hasn’t even _made_ a move. He was just awestruck and smiling and blushing most of the time. But he realized that he has to make a move if he didn’t want Jesse to go off with someone who’s probably more fit for him anyway. 

“I’m happy for you, Blaine, I really am. I mean, yes, it’s kind of weird to see my ex boyfriend and my best friend’s ex boyfriend get together but I’m definitely rooting for you two. You both deserve to be happy.”

Blaine smiled gratefully. “Thanks, Rachel.”

“Now go get your ass on that plane and get your man!”

The hour it took to get from Ohio to New York seemed to drag on, and by the time the plane landed, Blaine could swear his whole body was fidgeting. What if he was too late? What if Jesse already realized how perfect this girl is and had forgotten all about Blaine?

And no one had proof that he spent an expensive amount of cash for a cab ride from the airport to Jesse’s apartment but that’s exactly what he did.

He practically sprinted to the elevator (thankfully the bell boy already knew him) and to his luck, it was out of order so he took the stairs three steps at a time. By the time he reached Jesse’s door, he was sweating, out of breath, and just realizing that there’s a huge probability that Jesse was out since he was supposedly on a date. 

“Stupid,” Blaine groaned, bumping his forehead repeatedly on the door in frustration. 

He wasn’t counting on the door suddenly being opened and he stumbled forward, landing face first on Jesse’s carpeted floor. 

“Blaine?” He could hear the shock in his voice but he was too absorbed in embarrassment to care. “What the hell are you doing here?”

Slowly, he got up, rubbing his cheeks, which he was sure were red from rug burn. “I flew in early.”

“Why?”

“Because…” he trailed off, searching for the right words to say but coming up with nothing. What really is there to say? Should he break out in a song? No, he’s pretty sure Jesse would be freaked out by that. So he did what any sane people would do, really. He grabbed Jesse by the back of his neck and pushed his lips into his in a fast, hard kiss before pulling back abruptly. 

Jesse’s eyes were wide with shock and his mouth was agape, causing Blaine to breathe out nervously. 

“Kurt kissed me but I didn’t kiss him back,” he started, trying to calm his shaking hands. “I didn’t kiss him back because we held hands at Christmas and you told me it was because you didn’t want to lose me in the crowd when really there’s no crowd, okay? I didn’t kiss him back because I _like_ you, Jesse, even if you’re an asshole most of the time. You’re actually a pretty decent human being.”

And then Jesse started laughing and Blaine could have died right there, seriously. The ground should just open up and swallow him whole because Jesse was laughing at him and this couldn’t go any worse. So he shut his eyes tight in shame and mumbled, “Please stop laughing.”

“Oh my god,” he laughed even harder. “I’m a decent human being? That’s it? That’s all you got? C’mon Anderson, that was probably the shittiest confession I’ve ever heard.”

“It’s not funny,” he almost whined but stopped himself from further embarrassment, instead covering his face with his hands. 

“It kind of is,” Jesse chuckles before taking a step towards him and guiding Blaine’s hands away from his face. “But I’ll take it.”

Blaine opened his eyes in confusion, a frown on his face. “What?”

“You’re annoying most of the time,” Jesse deadpans but there’s a light in his eyes that wasn’t there before. “But I guess you can be a pretty decent human being too.”

“Okay…?” Blaine trailed off, still confused on where the conversation was going.

Jesse rolled his eyes before taking Blaine’s hand in his and tugging him out of the door. “Come on, Anderson. It’s New Year’s Eve. We’re going out.”

Blaine glanced down at their intertwined hands before smiling up at Jesse. “Will there be a huge crowd where we’re going, too?”

“No.” Jesse shook his head, a genuine grin on his face. “No. It’s just us.”

Blaine squeezed his hand and beamed, unable to help himself. “Okay.”


End file.
